


Good Morning

by infectedscrew



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Dick is a freak, Gen, Pure Nonsense, Unlawful Use of Milk, cereal was abused in the making of this fic, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 06:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6791932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infectedscrew/pseuds/infectedscrew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick finds the one thing on Earth that understands him -- cereal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Morning

“Cereal, I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who understands me.”

Dick’s cereal bowl stared mutely up at him. He sighed, dipping his spoon into the milk. Almost cheerfully the liquid and cereal flakes swam up to meet the metal.

“You never complain about how messy my apartment is, or that I get in late. Or that, every once in awhile, I enjoy eating two pizzas in one sitting.”

He tapped the bowl, watching the ripples break across the surface. It made him smile in an entirely immature sort of way. Catching some of the breakfast food on the spoon, he lifted it to his mouth. Chewing slowly he let out a sound very close to a moan.

“And you always taste good, no matter what. Seriously, Cereal, you are the best.”

Slowly, like it’s the single more delicious food Dick has ever eaten, he finished off his cereal. Left with only the milk, he lifted the bowl. Shooting a quick glance over his apartment, he pressed the edge of the bowl to his lip. That’s when he paused.

“No, just drinking you normally isn’t good enough. You, Cereal, deserve more.”

Dick lowered the bowl again. He shifted on his chair and tugged his t-shirt up and off his head. Then holding the bowl back to his mouth, he tipped the contents. Just as slow as he ate, he tilted the milk. The liquid cascaded down his chin, throat and chest in the most erotic milk display. He pulled the bowl slightly away from his mouth. Parting his lips, he let the former breakfast pour into his mouth.

When all of it was gone he licked his lips, slowly and sensually. With a self satisfied grin, he placed the bowl back on the table. Flicking an eyebrow up in the ultimate image of arrogance, he looked over toward his couch.

“Fine, I’ll admit. You’re the only man on the face of the Earth who could have sex with a bowl of cereal,” Tim stated, sounding both horrified and amused.

Dick’s smile widened and he trailed a finger through the milk pooling in his lap. Not taking his gaze away from Tim, he sucked the mess clean from his finger. He only smirked when Tim made a rather disgruntled expression.

“As I said, cereal is the only one who understands me.”


End file.
